Skidding out of 2009 on Two Wheels

Just about two weeks left of the year, and I'm picking up speed. I have to get an ms cleaned up to send out early next week, as well as write a couple of gift short stories for the holidays.

It's amazing how much has changed over this year--I still can't believe what I've done, or what I'm hoping to do.

Still, it's not even Solstice and I still have decorating, shopping, and holiday movie watching to complete. :) Should be fun.

Oh, and did I mention I've got four chapters done on Fairville?

Life is good.

Happy Holidays, my friends, if I don't have a chance to post before.

What Writers Do When They're Bored

I mentioned a few posts back that I wanted to put a role in my new novel for actress Veronica Cartwright. That started me thinking about who I would cast in the movie version of All the Back Roads Home. So, without further ado, here is the IMDB listing for the A-List Feature Version of All the Back Roads Home:

Samantha Lawson: Ashley Judd
Mark Hunter: James Denton
Alan Lawson: Oliver Platt
Kattrina West: Dana Ivey
Frank West: Beau Bridges
Marion Lawson: Ellen Burstyn
Edward Lawson:
Celeste Lawson: Kristin Chenoweth
Mitch Williams:
Lou Mancetti:
Dr. Charles Ganault: Stanley Tucci

I chose Ashley Judd because she has that awesome mix of vulnerability and pure strength. James Denton because he's hot in a regular guy sort of way. Oliver Platt and Kristin Chenoweth as Alan and Celeste, simply because I think they'd bring a levity to the procedings. Dana Ivey and Beau Bridges as the Wests--Dana because she can play the complex mix of evil and frailty needed for Kattrina West, and Beau Bridges because he looks like he'd be such a nice guy--which would only make the character scarier. I'm still on the fence about Edward, Mitch and Lou, but Ellen Burstyn and Stanley Tucci are shoe-ins. Honestly, I'd create a part for Stanley Tucci.

Positive Thinking

I recently hit the 10K mark on my new book, Fairville. One of the differences between writing short stories and novels is that, with short stories I hardly ever worried about word count. My point was always to write the story. it was just a matter of getting everything done that needed to be done. The word count took care of itself.

With novels, though, I'm constantly stressing about how many words I have, how many words I've written, and how I'm ever going to make this story novel length.

I think I'm going to go back to my old way of thinking. I think I'm going to just tell the story. Put words on the page. Move the characters around on the Monopoly board like the little pewter darlings they are.

Accept that the word count will take care of itself, as long as I take care of the words that comprise that count.

One of the main reasons I quit pursuing a professional writing career back in the 90s was that I just stressed myself out worrying about the details. I worried so much about marketing and querying and publishing that I sucked all the joy out of writing for myself.

Down at the core, it's all about telling the tale.

Down at the core, it's all telling a tale other people want to read.

I can do that, folks. I just have to get out of my way.

Netflix

I am falling in love with Veronica Cartwright all over again. :) Got two of her films from Netflix--so very different, yet both incredible performances.

Bernice Bobs Her Hair: A very young Veronica plays a nasty little vamp in this TV movie of F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story. She's gorgeous, 3-dimensional, and holds her own with Shelley Duvall (not an easy task).

Straight-Jacket: Veronica plays Jerry Albrecht, a closeted, workaholic agent in the early 50s whose main client is an outrageous Rock Hudsonesque movie star who is more successful than discrete. The entire movie is a hilarious send-up of the old 50s romantic comedies.

So, what character could Veronica play in the movie version of Fairville? I don't know, but there will be a character for her. Seriously. I want this woman in my movie. (Yeah, Deb. Write the novel before casting the film.)

How Convenient!

Writer Unboxed posted this article. I'd been wondering whether or not it was worth sending out queries during the holidays.

NYT 100 Notable Books of 2009

I've only read a few excerps, but is there a reason so many of these books are written in present tense? I'm trying to figure out if I'm just gauche, or if this is some Important Writing Technique that separates the writers from the Authors.

Louisiana History & Stuff

I'm trying to find a balance between research and actual writing. Considering I haven't been putting very many words on the paper for Fairville, I figured I should do something towards getting the story done. So I spent a good deal of yesterday researching the history of southern Lousiana, particularly Lafourche Parish (where the fictional town of Fairville is set).

I left Louisiana when I was 27 years old, happy to be gone. And in the 16 years since, I've never regretted that decision. But my love-hate relationship with the state of my birth makes good fodder for fiction, I think. I'm especially fascinated with the idea of coastal erosion, and that much of the land that existed in Louisiana even when I was a kid is now under the Gulf of Mexico.

Course, you know the question has to be asked--what secrets are going to be washed away with the tide? What buried mysteries will be exposed as the land is drawn out to the waters?

My challenge here is to translate those questions into actual story, and to create characters compelling enough and ideas sound enough to sustain a novel. The problem is, how do you write a contemporary novel set in Louisiana without playing into the standard cliches (voodoo, hurricanes, murder, Mardi Gras, political corruption)?

I don't think it's possible--there will be at least one hurricane in my novel, and plenty of corruption. Murder is a strong possibility, too.

But hopefully I can find some aspect of Louisiana history that is overlooked by the hacks and use it as a catalyst in my book. It's just so much more than Mardi Gras and voodoo. Really it is.

The Progress in Sketch Form

I created a blueprint for The Progress, which is a pivotal location in Fairville. Unfortunately, I can't upload .tif files to Blogger. I'll see if I can edit at home and upload it later.

Maybe now I can make some little Monopoly-sized characters so I can block out scenes properly....

It was this or The Sims....

The Thing About Pep Talks...

They only provide valuable advise if you actually use said advise.

I did not use my advise from the previous post.

I have not written anything in days.

I know this is one of those Stupid Writer Things you're not supposed to do, but my depression has been in Super Awesome Overkill Mode since last week. I'd pretty much convinced myself that this was not for me, and that I was wasting my own time and my loved ones' patience trying to be a Real Writer (as opposed to the kind who writes hundreds of short stories that are well-received, but completely unpublishable due to their fannish nature).

But I'm not going to give up. I am working on a plan to get the same kind of encouragement I got for my short stories--namely, someone reading as I go along and telling me, "You can't stop now." That's how I wrote the first novel.

Fact is, I do not have it in me to be my own pep squad. There are simply too many insecurities there, soo much self-esteem crap pulling me down and distracting me from the business of putting words on the screen.

So Fey is going to read my pages on Fairville as I write them, and bully me into writing more.

It's sad, but it's come to this. I need a keeper.

Thank god for girlfriends and chocolate. The universe would collapse without them.

Momentum: Succeeding at the Speed of Molasses

I got my biweekly pep-talk (via email) from Jenn this morning. Her timing is amazing--I'd just gotten back into that whole "Who am I to think I can do this?" mentality. My partner Fey, who is the Queen of All Patience, talked me down from quitting the new novel entirely last night. And Jennifer, out of the blue, reminded me that I have to PERSIST. How crazy is that?

Persist.

I work a full-time job and have a full-time relationship. I enjoy the occasional five hours of sleep a night, and even watch television sometimes. I try to carve out two full hours of writing a day, which doesn't seem like much, but I can get quite a lot done in a focused two hours.

Recently, however, I've been sleeping through my two hours--just so tired and depressed and hopeless. It started creeping back into my subconscious, those thoughts that success was for other people, that talent isn't enough, and that I just don't have what it takes to make my dreams come true.

Then, of course, I got the refill on my Prozac and things are starting to look up.

My book is not the Worst Piece of Crap Ever Committed to Paper.

I am not the Laziest Person in the Universe.

I am not Born to Be a Failure.

I can watch the occasional episode of Desperate Housewives or Eastwick (Damn you, ABC, for cancelling this show!) without being a total slacker.

I just need to PERSIST. Turn on the laptop. Write another thousand words. I can write a thousand words in my sleep--sometimes, they come out better that way. Send another query letter.

I just need to persist. And lighten the hell up.

These are the Days I Will Smile Upon

...when I'm a successful, published writer. I will look back over the ever-growing stack of rejections and think, that was the real world. That was trying. That was moving beyond my comfort zone and facing rejection in order to finally realize my dreams.

And I will remmeber that, despite the rejection, it was still a pretty wonderful time.

So. Next query goes out. Allons-y!

How do parents write?

Ever?

I tried to do my usual hour or two at the laundromat this week, and found myself with a nine-year-old boy attached to my aura. He was very nice, very interested in every single thing I was doing, even polite--in a nine-year-old boy sort of way.

And I couldn't concentrate enough to write a thing.

I have a whole new respect for parents who manage to have writing careers.

Why Diets Don't Work

A little concoction my partner Fey threw together last night--mini lava cake with spiced creme fraiche. Okay, so I haven't lost any weight since she started on this insane spell of cooking. I can live with that.

Fairville

I started work in earnest on Fairville last night. It was so nice to be working on a new project after so long with the first novel. At this point, that baby is in the hands of the fates (or whatever literary agent wisely chooses to pick me up.)

I have to admit, I love the first part of working on a story or novel, when everything is still nebulous. You can go anywhere, do anything, and create your reality as you go along. I was kind of surprised last night at the tone one of my scenes was taking, but pleased. I know where I'm going in my head, but I have no particular path I'm emotionally attached to. I just fully intend to enjoy the journey, trusting my ability to tell a decent story and create interesting characters. Angst does not create good fiction; it creates ulcers.

Just a Metaphysic Monday!

That's right, it's Metaphysic Monday here at Ye Olde Day Job(TM). Time for deep conversations between reports and calls, pondering the depths of corporate philosophy over the cubicle walls. We've decided that our entire center is one big psychiastric experiment, and we're all lab rats used for the sole purpose of data-gathering. We're expected to go about our maze, preferably without the knowledge that we're in a maze, chasing that nibble of cheese and living our little ratlike lives. The guys in the white coats at Corporate monitor our progress, observe our little rodent hierachies, and jot things down in their steno pads. It's nothing personal--we're just rats, and we can't be expected to understand the things people in white coats write on steno pads.

That's a pretty typical Monday morning in my office.

This is why I need to become a full-time writer. At least then I'll know I'm a rat....

Why I Write

I write because I am NOT a painter. :)

Okay, I come from a family of artists. My mom and her two sisters are professional artist, several of my cousins are professional artists/designers, my dad owns a gallery and paints, my step-mother works in porcelain, and well, it's sort of a family thing.

Me? I am not an artist. I doodle. I scribble. As an artist, I make a very good singer. As a painter, I make a pretty darn good writer.

I offer below an illustration. My coworkers at The Day Job(TM) insisted I create this for our Halloween decorations. I call it Drunk Kitty on Posterboard. The media are Dollar Tree paints and White Out.

If I ever quit The Day Job(TM), it won't be to pursue a career in art.

Lessons

I want to have this list by Jessica Zelenko tattooed to my forearm.

Insecurity

I think I need to peruse this article by Jessica Faust at length. Seriously. Insecurity has been my constant companion ever since I decided to start pursuing a professional writing career--insecurity that never existed when I was just writing for fun. More on this later. My day job calls, and frankly, getting fired will not really decrease my stress. :)

I must be on the right track...

I just had a published author threaten to slap me. :0 Okay, not like that...or like that! Just in the "get over yourself, stop overthinking, hellooooo....McFly....." sort of way.

Oh, and in case you think all I do is write? My partner Fey is a fantastic cook. I eat a lot too. Check out her cooking blog Livejournal (Fey Cooks). I was losing weight. Now--not so much....

Sure Path to Insanity

When someone you love/respect/admire compares your writing to a published author, it may not be the best idea to go out and read that author. My writing was recently compared to a very mega-successful novelist out there. I'd heard of her, but never read her stuff. Borrowed a copy of one of her books from a coworker and have been reading through.

So here's where the insanity comes in--(read on for excerps from Deb's brain):

I'm not really loving this book.

It's okay, but the characters are not all that compelling.

Okay, some of it's okay, but not the greatest I've ever read.

Fill-in-the-Blank really thinks I write like *her*?

Is my book hard to get into?

Are my characters flat?

If this is what is selling, am I doing it wrong?

OMG, who the hell am I to think I can do this?

Fill-in-the-Blank is just being kind.

I'm a hack.

I wish I wrote more like Random-Author-I-Happen-To-Like-at-the-Moment. This writer is good--this writer writes *important* stuff. This writer's prose is tight, her characterization is intriquing, plots unobtrusive and natural.

I'm a total hack.

I might as well eat junk food.


This, boys and girls, is why you should never compare your work to others'.

Lesson complete. Have a nice day.

A Room of One's Own

I remember back in college reading that essay by Virginia Woolfe. In effect, she said, for a woman to write she must have an income of no less than 500 pounds and a room of her own. I think my modern equivalent of this has become a roll of quarters and a laptop at the laundromat.

Seriously, I get some of my best work done in those two hours a week I spend waiting for the wash cycle to end, or the dryers to go off. Thanks to the invention of headphones and MP3 music files, I don't really feel obligated to socialize.

I love to write at home, and I do for most of the time. But I have a 40 a week day job, a partner I adore (and find it very hard to ignore), and tons of responsibility.

At the laundromat, I'm just that chick with the lap top who doesn't fold her clothes until she gets home.

I can live with that.

Synopsis

I rewrote my synopsis today. I have one that is 10 pages long, but several agents only want 1-2 pages. So I decided it might not be a bad idea to have a long one and a short one handy.

Wondering if I ought to write a few short stories--is there still a short story market out there? I gave up on it in 1996 and haven't looked since. Still write them, mind you. I just don't try to publish them. If anyone's reading and has info on this topic, give me a comment, okay?

(singing) I'll keep climbing that mountain...

I have been reading Jenn's Diary of a Mad Writer blog, and it's so amazing. Jennifer is this professional writer--you know, quit your day job, sign autographs, Google-hits-like-crazy professional writer.

But reading her blog from back in 2001 is like listening to my own internal dialogue. Okay, maybe not the whole, I'm going to write Regency romance novels, but the doubt, the determination, the shifting interests--and of course, the THIS STORY SUCKS comments.

I strongly recommend her blog to all yet-to-be-published writers (ha! Not negative. Indicates a belief that publishing will be in my hopefully-near future. I'm improving.) Check out my last post for the link. And while you're out it, go out and buy all Jennifer Ashley's book, because I want her to be mega-successful. I always said I would ride her coat-tails straight to the middle.

Best--D.

Voices from the Past

I am surrounded by echoes. First, I'm reading through Jennifer Ashley's Writing Diary from before she became a Famous Writer(tm). It's actually helping. Not nearly as much much as her emails, which basically say, "don't worry, you can do it" without a hint of "you are driving me batty, you needy heifer." :) Actually, if Jenn calls me a heifer, it's usually done with love, not frustration.

The other voices are coming through, of all places, Facebook (friend me as "Deborah A Baudoin"). Somehow, I managed to hook up with 10 million people from my past. It's so bizarre, and yet, oddly entrancing.

But I'm still a LiveJournal girl, so don't expect me to play that farm game anytime soon, 'kay?

Layout Change

I've changed the layout on this blog. I can be and often am quite creative, visually, but I decided to keep things simple here. I want to focus on the writing here.

Queries, Queries, Queries

Finishing my first novel was just the beginning. I'm at that point in my process now that I have to get out there, to really focus on what makes my book special, what makes it sale-worthy, and why an agent would want to take a chance on a previously unpublished author.

It's a humbling and daunting process. I'm learning a lot about myself, and about the industry. I'm just grateful that I have a mentor who knows the ropes and who can remind me that, this too shall pass. It's not enough to have talent, but having talent makes it much easier.

I just have to be peristent through this part of it.